Christina Carroll Photography »

I’m going to post this on Mother’s Day since it’s my first Mother’s Day as a mother and what a joyous day it is!

Last year I was pregnant with twins. I had the most amazing pregnancy anyone could ever hope for. I felt great and loved every single second of being pregnant.  I shot 20 weddings, 28 sessions and traveled to Mexico, Ireland, London, Chicago and Washington DC for weddings and sessions all without missing a beat. Then the morning of December 4th came along. That morning my water broke 10 weeks early.

We rushed to the hospital and I felt like I was in a bad dream. My doctor came in and told me that they would give me drugs to stop the labor and I would most likely be on bed rest in the hospital for the next two weeks. I wish that were the case. The anti-labor drugs did nothing and everything progressed quickly. Fast forward three hours, and I was being wheeled into the operating room.

During the birthing process Pearl became bradycardic and her pulse dropped dangerously low. The OR became engulfed in chaos when my doctor announced I needed an emergency C-section. What seemed like an eternity later they finally got Pearl out. No cry. She had an APGAR score of 1. A minute later they took my son, Abbott, out and he was screaming. It was a relief to hear his cry. I kept asking and asking about Pearl and no one would give me a clear answer on if she was okay. They just kept saying, “we are trying to stabilize her”. Then they wheeled me to the recovery room and said I would get to see them in the nursery as soon as Pearl stabilized. About an hour went by and the nurses came in and told us they were going to transport the babies to a different hospital with a higher level neonatal intensive care unit. At this point we still hadn’t even seen them. They promised we would see them before they left for the other hospital. Hours went by. We called down to the NICU a million times to see when they were leaving. The answer was always the same, “we are trying to stabilize the little girl”. Then a neonatologist came into our room. She told us very grim news about Pearl and her chances of survival. After she left we both feared she wouldn’t make it through the night. Finally, 7 hours later Pearl was stable enough for the transport to St David’s Central. They wheeled them in an incubator and I saw them for the first time. They were impossibly small like perfect little dolls. They were so beautiful! We just kept thinking, if Pearl can just make it 24 hours everything will be better. And she did. Then it was 48 hours, if she could just make it 48 hours. And she did. Then it was 72, then a week and then 10 days. And she made them all.

The next day our families went to visit them. Mitch sent me pictures and I will never be able to put in words how I felt seeing those pictures. Seeing these tiny two and three pound babies covered in bruises with IVs and cords running out from every inch of their tiny bodies. I couldn’t even see their faces because they were covered with CPAP masks and jaundice glasses. These were babies I had dreamt of my entire life and spent the past 7.5 months envisioning how the birth would be for me. I imaged holding them for the first time after birth. I had never in my wildest dreams thought it would be like this.

I got released from the hospital a day early so I could finally go see them. It was so emotional. The NICU is located past the labor and delivery portion of the hospital. I saw all these other smiling women happily holding their babies. I saw women with balloons being wheeled out of the hospital with their bundles of joy proudly in their arms. That day I had left the hospital empty-handed. No balloons and no smiles.

I got to hold them exactly a week after I had them. It was an incredible moment. When you get pregnant you never imagine having to wait a week to hold your baby. I knew a lot of the other women in the NICU had to wait much longer so I was very thankful it was only a week.

Having babies in the NICU really made me count every single small step forward as a blessing. Every gram gained, a celebration. Whenever I started to feel sorry for myself I would just think that it could always be worse because it certainly could be worse. I would think about the families that would love to have babies in the NICU because that at least meant they had babies who were at least alive. I tried to remain as positive as possible.

We spend our “baby’s first Christmas” in the NICU. Abbott, Santa and I made it in the Austin American Statesmen and Pearl, Santa and I made it on several news stations. Our wonderful nurse, Kay, dressed them up in matching Christmas outfits and let me do a mini photo shoot of them on red and green blankets.

56 days later Abbott was getting discharged! We could finally have our sweet boy home with us. When the time came to take him home and leave his sister I cried so hard. I hated the thought of leaving her there.

A week before she was discharged we had a setback. Pearl had an MRI of her brain. They discovered she had suffered a stroke her first week of life. At first the doctors told us she would be handicapped, unable to feed or dress herself. It was devastating. Then several days later the neurologist talked to us and said she suffered a stroke in her occipital lobe which effects vision processing. Her stroke in no way effects her intelligence or motor skills. It was the best news I had heard.

A week later she was home with us. Finally, 73 days after their scary and sudden birth we were a family of four at home together.

Today the babies are thriving.  We won’t know the longterm effects of the stroke until she’s older but we are praying that her infant brain will “rewire” itself. She continues to amaze me daily with her fierce determination and survivor’s spirit.

Thank you all for the continued support and prayers. Here are some pictures of my beautiful blessings.

This is Abbott at 2 days old.His tiny hand grasping Mitch’s finger.This is Pearl at 3 days old holding onto my finger.Abbott, 4 days old, and his CPAP mask.Abbott again with his jaundice glasses and CPAP mask.Me holding Pearl, 9 days old.This is one of my favorite pictures of Pearl. This is the first time we actually saw her face. You can see Mitch’s refection, his hand is on her head and she’s looking at me.Abbott’s nickname is “always with a smile”. Here he is 17 days old and already has a smile on his face.Pearl looking up at Mitch.It took the nurses about 10 minutes to get the babies unhooked enough to hold them. In this picture you can see all the cords attached to them. We got to hold them for 30 minutes a day.PearlAbbott smiling again as I held him at 18 days old.Me holding them both together for the first time at 19 days old.Christmas EveChristmas Day!Home at last!

Abbott at 10 weeks old!Pearl at 11 weeksAbbott at 14 weeks14 weeks
Abbott at 16 weeksAlmost 5 months old. I’ve been trying to get them smiling at the same time in a picture but no luck so far!Pearl on her 5 month birthday in her jumper!Their first outdoor photo shoot. Abbott cried the entire time so I only got pictures of Pearl.

This is Emma. She’s an Old English Sheepdog. She was about as sweet as they come and full of personality. She was like a big grizzly bear. Everyone who met her commented on her big soulful eyes. My family got her when I was 17. She has always been a huge part of the family. She had a stroke on Friday morning. We had to put her to sleep today. It’s so sad. I just wanted to share some pictures I took of her. She’s already greatly missed.

I love this picture. She looks like she’s laughing.

She always loved to roll on her back. She would get covered in leaves and grass.

I felt like she knew she was the dog of a photographer. She grew up with the camera and always would pose and look right at me the second the camera came out! We thought she was so photogenic.

My mom gave me this picture to display at my wedding in a couple months. I scanned it and tried to modernize it a little bit. My parents look so cute that I had to share it! My mom was only 19 years old. They’ve been married for 36 years!